Henry VIII and All That…..
Hello? Hello? Who? Oh, its yerself. Where are yeh? Where? Italy? Italy! Where abouts in Italy. Florence who? Oh, Florence, where Wardie was. Listen I have a great idea to spark up business, he put me on to it. Can yeh get down to Rome? No, to Rome, in Italy, to see the Pope. He’s on his holidays in Castelgandongolfo, as usual. By their Luas, or by taxi – whatever. Give me a ring when yeh get there.
Hello? Hello? Is that yerself? Yeh sound very far away, speak louder. Right. Where are yeh now? Good. Did yeh meet him yet? Ok, wait and listen to me. Castelgandolfo is where the Vatican farm is and where they get all their meat from. No, we don’t want any of their food – they’re poor enough as it is. Just see if they’ll sell yeh some cattle, preferably bulls. No, cattle, as in moo moo – like Henry the Eight got from the Pope - by the cart load according to Wardie.
(Back home a week later.)
Well, how’d yeh get on with the Pope? What? Wouldn’t let yeh in! Why not? They called yeh a crazy Irishman? Why, I wonder? A present for me from the Pope himself? What is it? I can’t read this, its strange writing. What does it say? And what’s with the picture of a cow? Its not a cow? It’s a bull? Holy cow, a papal bull, just what we’re looking for! But sure what use is this to anyone if what yeh say is true, that there never was a farm at Castelgandolfo? Where’s Wardie gone?
Here’s me thinkin’ what a big blow this would be for Irish farming against those Brazilian beef barons, and thinkin’ too that we’d corner the market for those bulls, and be the first to get one up on the Irish bishops, selling them not by the cartload, by the kilo, less outlay. I was lead astray I tell yeh, I swear it. By heavens – by Castor and Pollux, where’s that fella Wardie?
I’m in a dreamy if impassionate phase at the present time, mooning I suppose, confused by the wretchedness of the Summer weather, the lack of sunshine and but for The Birds by Aristophanes, who provided some relief in Nephelococcygia (nefelo/cock/sigia– cloudcuckooland) for two Athenians and their followers seeking a new republic, Utopia, amongst the well-ordered lives of birds, where Wisdom, Love and Grace pervade - away from high taxes, ever extending fees and continuous court litigatioin of Athens. Of course they got planning permission straight away for their new settlement, with few restrictions.
Later, during the course of a heated argument with visiting politicians from Athens who were annoyed that they had vacated their city state in preference for a more harmonious life and sociable society in their new bird-land. The following lines from the play, written 2,500 years ago, show how so little man has progressed, but their ancient wisdom may just offer a solution to the Lisbon Treaty fiasco:
Citizen: Oh, there’s just one thing, I nearly forgot. Zeus can keep Hera, but the girl, Sovereignty, must obviously become my wife, so he’ll have to hand her over, I’m afraid.
Politician: You obviously don’t want a peace treaty. Come on lads, let’s go home.
Back to Service
Robert Service is back in vogue, at least in the memory of brothers Peter, Sean and Frank Salmon. Mention even the word service in any context and they’ll bring Dangerous Dan McGrew to living life, and the pub can have no other name than the Malamute Saloon.
Surely, Dangerous Dan was nothing but a ruffian and he treated the Lady that’s known as Lou in a disgraceful manner. He was a rotter. He had loose morals, he drank more than he should have, and if that was not bad enough, he actually played cards for money in the Malamute; but she got her own back on him in pure female fashion. While kissin’ him, she pinched his poke, just before he croaked, which is why I have now turned to a melancholy mood.
Women are far too much maligned and that’ll be attended to later. The list is long – Isabella de Medici, Helen, Electra, Queen Dido, Francesca de Rimini, Mary Magdalen, Lady Guinevere, Socrate’s wife (called the Shrew, and may be an exception), Circa etc., a whole host of them. Eliza Doolittle can thank G.B. Shaw for her elevation. To prove the point, here is a little poem by Robert Service. It is titled
I hailed me a woman from the street,
Shameless, but, oh, so fair!
I bade her sit in the model’s seat,
And I painted her sitting there.
I hid all trace of her heart unclean;
I painted a babe at her breast;
I painted her as she might have been
If the worst had been the best.
She laughed at my picture, and went away.
Then came, with a knowing nod,
A connoisseur, and I heard him say:
“’Tis Mary, the Mother of God.”
So I painted a halo round her hair,
And I sold her, and took my fee,
And she hangs in the church of St. Hilaire,
Where you and all may see.
Just a note to say a big thank you to yourself and all the people who make the Ballymore Bugle such a great success. I look forward to receiving it every month. My brother Tony’s wife, Maureen, buys two extra copies every month to send to myself and my brother Joe who lives in Cheltenham. We are both kept up to date with all the news from Ballymore. I hope you don’t mind me making a few comments.
Firstly, I enjoy reading ‘Matt’s Memories’ although I do wish he would jog those memories a little more before he writes some of them! I also enjoy reading Jeffers but wish he would write something about Ballymore an odd time.
Secondly, I see Pat Murphy is matchmaking again! I hope he has more luck this time. I am sure you remember Pat’s last attempt at matchmaking with Lilly and Sam in the van outside the pub. Pat tried his best to make it work with hot toddies at bedtime and tea with a ‘sup’ every morning. Sadly, Sam spoiled everything. Sam would not stop boasting about the number of times he had been to Kerry and the lovely people who lived there! Lilly could take no more so she told him to go up to the Golden Falls and jump off the dam. This upset Sam so much that he told Lilly that he did not want to see her any more and vowed that he would never set foot in Kildare again. Now you know why Cork beat Kildare a few weeks ago. If Kildare do not ever win an ‘All Ireland’, you know who to blame – Pat Murphy!!!!
Pat now has two ‘love birds’ out in the paddock at the back of the pub – the black and white horse called Tonto and the grey mare called Trigger. Pat, I am sure, is hoping to hit the jackpot this time! I would love to see him leading in the first Piebald, bred at the Garrison Hill Stud Farm in Ballymore, after winning a race at Cheltenham. Good luck Pat!!
I am hoping to see you all sometime soon, so Rose get your pen and pad ready as we have to finish ‘Liam in Ballymore’ part two – plus a few more things.
I have now said enough, maybe too much!!! God bless you all.
Sheldon, Birmingham. England
Fond Welcome Extended to Rev Leonard Ruddock
The formal institution of Reverend Leonard Ruddock took place last month in the church of St Mary’s, Blessington at which over fifty robed members of the clergy attended. The service was officiated by Archbishop of Dublin & Bishop of Glendalough, Dr John Neill and was attended by Rev Paul Heuston (Rural Dean); Rev Ian Gallagher, rector of Stillorgan and Blackrock (former parish of Rev Ruddock’s); Arch Deacon, Edgar Swan; Fr Sean Breen, Fr Tim Murphy and Fr Lyons.
The church was packed to capacity with a strong contingent from Rev Ruddock’s former parish travelling for his institution and also, a notable number of friends from Roscrea, Co Tipperary where Leonard was well known in the business community and church circles. After the ceremony, the congregation joined Rev Ruddock at a reception in St Kevin’s Community Centre where Councillor Jim Ruttle extended a warm welcome to Rev Ruddock and his wife Hazel (daughter of politician, Alan Gillis) and the couple’s children, Amanda and Gary.
This was the first of several receptions planned for the new rector and his family with St John’s in Ballymore Eustace hosting theirs on Sunday 10th August when The Reverend gave his first service, assisted by Reverend Thea Boyle.
Paddy Cook, Rector’s Warden spoke warm words of welcome on behalf of the community at St John’s, followed by Cllr Billy Hillis on behalf of Kildare County Council with Billy himself being a member of the church for decades. Tim Hempenstall Ryan then followed, representing Fr Sean Breen and the Church of the Immaculate Conception; our Bugle Editor did of course,
pass on ‘The Breeners’ tips for the day and finally, myself to say a few words of goodwill on behalf of the local community. I did appeal to Rev Leonard to say a special intention for Kildare that day as they faced Cork in Croke Park as I felt it would take ‘divine intervention’ to keep the Lilywhites in front…………… Alas, the Lord had order plans.
As always, the service and reception at St John’s was planned meticulously by Paddy Cooke and the church committee, the alter and porch adorned with flora and greenery by Hilary and Grania, and the Bandhall laid out by Larry and Grania to accommodate teas and scones after church.
Whilst I abandoned the reception to cheer on the Lillies, there were lots of familiar faces there from Blessington and Manor Kilbride – members of the Eager and Beatty families, Muriel and Gilmore Hamilton, Bob and Marlene Allison, Jack and James Kane and many more whose faces alas, I didn’t recognise.
From Ballymore Eustace, I saw Rev. Robert McDermott and his wife, Janet; Hazel and Pat Foley; Margaret and Justin Hayes and family; Holly and Hillary Pallister; Josie and Billy Hillis; Rhoda from Brannockstown; Grania and Larry of course and Norma and Paddy; Maire and Chris Dennison; Liam Lawlor, Claire Doyle, Mary Campbell, Mary Deegan, Collette and Tim and yours truly.
It is heartening to see how the two churches in our village have worked together in recent years organising Ecumenical Services and of late, a choral fundraiser with The Baldonnell Singers which was both successful and enjoyable.
Reverend Ruddock’s duties entail the parishes of St Mary’s, Blessington; St John’s, Ballymore Eustace; St Kevin’s of Hollywood where Rev Ruddock performed his first service on Sunday, 31st August and St John’s of Cloughlea, which incorporates the parish of Manor Kilbride and neighbouring townslands. The Reverend has now given services at all the afore mentioned churches and was touched by the huge welcome extended him and his family.
A native of Rathangan, Co Kildare, Rev Ruddock’s wife Hazel hails from Grangecon, Co Wicklow – Paddy Cook proclaimed the family hopefully would not be divided in supporting their respective counties in the case of inter-county sporting fixtures!
Mmmh, unless Wicklow and Kildare improve dramatically next year, it shouldn’t be a frequent problem - then again, with the Power of Prayer……..
Rose B O Donoghue